Learn from near-misses

गहराई जानने को डूब जाना जरूरी नहीं होता
दर्द समझने को चोट खाना जरूरी नहीं होता
कांटे ही काफी है दर्द के एहसास के लिए
खंजर दिल में जाना जरूरी नहीं होता

Maa... Mother...

माँ... क्या कहूं तुम्हारे बारे में
रोज मिलती हो उस सितारे में

पता ना था तेरा साया इस तरह चला जाएगा
और रोशनी बन कर दूर से नज़र आयेगा

अब सितारा बन के अँधेरे में राह दिखलाती हो
क्या गलत, क्या सही अब भी यही समझाती हो

जब ज़मी पे थी तो बात ना हो पाती थी
याद आती पर मुलाक़ात ना हो पाती थी

पूछना उस खुदा से जब भी मिलो आते जाते
सितारे हमें दिन में क्यूं नहीं नज़र आते

कल फ़िर नयी सुबह होगी... ... ...

कल फ़िर नयी सुबह होगी, खुशियों का चमन महकेगा

फ़िर अपनी रोशनी लेकर, आशा का सूरज चमकेगा

तुम उसी रोशनी को लेकर, पथ पर बढ़ते जाना

ग़म की अँधेरी गलियों के, पार निकलते जाना

कभी न रुकना - कभी ना झुकना, राह भले पथरीली हो

चाहे पानी शोला उगले, चाहे आग भी गीली हो

तुम्हें तलाश है जिस मंजिल की, उसे तुम्हें ही पाना है

चट्टानों को तोड़-तोड़ कर, रस्ता नया बनाना है

कठिनाई से क्यूं डरते हो, तुम ही आज, भविष्य भी तुम

तुम ही चाँद, सूरज भी तुम, तुम धरती और जल भी तुम

तुम ही धार हो, तुम किनार हो, तुम माझी और नाव हो तुम

लिख सकते हो भविष्य अपना, हाथों की लकीर हो तुम

Yesterday... Today... Tomorrow

We all have a habit of blaming our past for what we are today.

Let our future not blame our 'today' for what we will be then.Today, I read about "well dying" as against "well being". In S.Korea, they have started organising mock deaths. The person writes his/her 'Will'... reads it in front of his relatives and then enters a coffin which is then berried for some time. They say, during those 10-15 mins they experience a horrible reality... called death. And that gives a new meaning to their lives...

Well, we need not go thru' that detailed procedure... and can still experience the reality by just thinking about our death. Sit away from others in an isolated place and imagine that your death is knocking your doors. While experiencing the situation, we can make a "To Do" list... things to do if I were to die today...

We'll realise that we haven't kissed or hugged our loved ones for days together... that rose in the backyard went un-appreciated coz we didn't have time... our children didn't get home-made cake which they wanted... our parents/ brother/ spouses/partners wanted to spend some time for discussing about financial status which we haven't done in months... we haven't told our loved ones about our bank accounts, our insurance papers, our shares/ stocks/ mutual funds and the place where all these important papers are kept... we haven't entered the name of nominee for the bank account we opened last year just because there was no one to sign as the witness... we haven't seen the aquarium which our children wanted to see... we haven't experienced that fresh air on the mountain top since our last visit in May 2006... we haven't danced in the rain... we haven't had snow-ball fight since our childhood... we haven't been on the giant-wheel ride since ages to have that special feel in our stomach... we haven't seen the VCD of son's school annual gathering when he danced on the stage for the first time...

We were just too busy working for someone else who can replace us any time... we were busy with development of someone else... development of our employer... who gives us peanuts in form of salary/ wages and takes away our life in return...

Time to think...

Proud to be an Indian !!!

I just read a blog from an Indian who stays in the US.

The blogger wanted to know why Indians don't come out and volunteer for help as they do in USA or other countries... why Indians don't help beggars who are their on streets... why people are reluctant to do anything on their own and are always pointing fingers towards the Govt...

Well, I could not answer all the questions but here's what I truly feel about my India and Indians...

First let me share a few facts with you.

(1) Historically, India has always been a peace loving country. Our kings didn't keep huge armed forces coz they never assumed that they will ever be attacked. And it wasn't a surprise that the outsiders attacked us for gold, diamond, spices, dry-fruits and all that was considered to be our treasure. India was invaded by many outsiders... right from Md.Ghazani to Portuguese to British... All these people looted India of all the treasures. They killed Indians brutally and dominated them. Thus, Indians genetically have this inherent fear of losing their belongings and loved ones. You may call it my theory but I firmly believe that it's in our genes. That's why we Indians always want to hold on to whatever we have. There is always a fear of losing something or someone. This has lead to savings mentality and a feeling of insecurity. Indians don't wish to part with their wealth. Even those who donate, hardly spend 5-10% of their savings for social activities (pl. read again, I haven't said earnings... I said savings... which r much smaller). This is because they wish to keep the remaining amount for the insecurity feeling which they believe to be true... u know our typical "just in case..." attitude. Thus financial help to anyone else in larger quantum is ruled out.

(2) School & college students are forced by their parents to study... to get good education... so that they can have some "secured" job.

Students spend about 7 hrs in schools, 1-2 hours travelling from school to home, then 3-4 hrs of private tuition (yes, that's to get "good marks" and thus "good job"), and hardly an hour or so for games, recreation etc. No... they hardly play in schools... many schools don't have sports facility... so the children play in their courtyard or some make shift ground cum lawn cum marriage place cum meeting place whatever u call it... After about 12 hrs of activities listed above, they come home at 8pm or so and do their school/college homework for 2 hrs, have their dinner at 10 pm and sleep at 11 pm. Where's the time for social work? On Sundays?? Sorry, on Sundays, their tuition is for 6 hrs instead of 3-4 hrs and they also wish to play more... after all they were waiting for this day since 6 days!! You must be thinking, why so much importance is given to studies?? Answer is very simple.. So that they can get "good marks... and thus get better jobs"... that's what parents believe. This belief or fear is not entirely false. The competition over here is cut throat due to huge population. For Govt. job which is considered secured (coz in govt. jobs they don't throw people out), there are 1200 to 1500 applications for one job. At that age they don't have any credentials except their school/college marksheet. Thus, they've to be exceptionally good in academics to get the job. If the odds are so much against you, one is bound to be serious. Doing a sundry job like working in call centres, or event management etc. is not preferred coz those companies/ organisations who take up such jobs are of small size. They are mostly proprietary or partnership firms or at best private limited firms... they are not public limited. Small organisation means less job security. So all those who work in call centres etc. do it as a stepping stone till they get a "good" job.

(3) A normal middle class individual becomes capable of sparing some money only after 35+ age (provided they've worked religiously thus far and have sufficient spare money). These people too are very reluctant to do so because the NGOs who collect donations don't spend the entire money for social cause. There is no guarantee that the money will go to the needy/poor... because of corruption at all levels.

(4) Other than those who are born with a silver spoon, the rest have to spend at least 12-13 hrs everyday in offices/shops/outlets (wherever they work) plus 1-2 hrs for commuting. That makes them miserable enough to just sit like logs in front of TV sets after coming home. Oh I forgot... we have to take care of children's homework, school projects and other family activities... shopping for grocery, vegetables, fruits etc. Where's the time? If we are lucky, we get one weekly off (i.e. if we are not called in office on that day). Now, you tell me when can we do any social work?

You must be thinking that this guy is just giving excuses for NOT doing anything. Well... can't help it!! When our own survival is at stake, we can’t think about others.
Why do we point our fingers on Govt?? Because we pay 30% tax!! A lot of that goes into the pockets of politicians in form of corruption. If we carry out a lie detection test, probably NONE of them will come out clean.

Parents teach children not to help beggars is because begging is a business here.
Those women whom you see at the traffic signals carrying children ranging from a few months to an year or two beg because they don't want to work. Begging is a pretty easy job. They hire children... yes HIRE children from those who are poorer than them and don't feed them... these children cry coz they are and we, soft-hearted persons give them some money so that the child can eat. But that money doesn't go to feed the children. If that child gets food then how will it cry? If it doesnt cry, how will it get sympathy? And how will that lady earn?? So, the money or food which you & I give goes to that lady who is holding the child. So you see, in India, children start earning at the age of 3 months!!!
Pathetic but true!!

WHY is this happening??

India, because of whatever geographical or scientific reasons has always been densely populated. Due to vote bank politics, population control was never given importance coz in some religions they believe that population control is not good (don't wish to name any religion here). Politicians don't have guts to hurt their sentiments!!

Our population is almost 1/6th of the world. Plus we have added burden of millions of Bangladeshis, Nepalese and Pakistanis who stay here... adding to our population. In short, giving food and shelter to such a huge population is not an easy task.

In China, they abort the second child. We Indians cant enforce population control in such ruthless form. Sanjay Gandhi tried it long back but failed miserably. Thus, Govt. can only urge, teach or provide small incentives to those families who participate in birth control activities (we call it family planning). I won’t say Govt. is not successful but yes not completely.
Population thus poverty thus corruption are our BIGGEST enemies. Though I've used the word "thus"... I am not assuming that a one to one cause & effect relation exists here. There are multiple causes... primary cause is over population.

Now, coming to the question, whether we Indians can do something on our own or will we continue to beg...

We have a LOT of problems. But that doesn't mean we can’t do anything. I agree that instead of demanding everything from the Govt. we must strengthen it to serve us better. We must help our Govt. by giving suggestions and volunteering in its activities.
Call it a boon in disguise, but many of us have finally woken up after a long sleep because of 26/11 attacks (in Mumbai). Many citizens have geared themselves up for social causes in spite of their hectic personal life. School & college students have realised that books, games and entertainment is not the end of life. There's more that needs to be done. And we are doing!!

Yes we are doing it!!

I am proud to belong to a nation where people don't need police, army, fire brigades or govt to fight even with problems.
We go out and stand in queues in front of blood banks even when the terror attacks are ongoing.
We donate our blood till the blood-banks are full coz we don't have money to donate.
We don't wait for a first aider or an ambulance to carry victims, we carry them on our shoulders, and we carry them on our bicycles and two wheelers.

In spite of a pathetic emergency handling system we are able to take care of casualties, support the family members of those who are affected, provide them whatever they want (including moral support even if we are not trained).

We keep ourselves calm and dont allow tension to escalate.

We dont go paranoid and dont keep ourselves under lock & key.

We are out on streets helping families which even blood relatives dont do.

Guys this is India!!!

The only sad part is that we wait for such disasters to unite us. We forget such mishaps very soon and the fire within us dies down when we feel that the situation is under control.
I urge the youth and seniors to learn from what has happened and DON'T let the wounds heal.
Keep them open...

So that they'll continue to bother you.
So that you will continue to be attentive towards yourself and your safety.
So that you'll remain awake and not allow the terrorists to strike again.
So that you wont let politicians to relax and forget their duties.
So that your children and their children wont get such wounds that you have got.

What can we easily do?
>We can teach a person... a child, an adult... any underprivileged person whenever we get time.
>We can spend at least 2 hrs every week for nation building activities.
>We can go to nearby slums or similar places to help them for medical check-up, for cleanliness drives, for talking about health & hygiene.
>We can keep aside a small amount everyday (say 30 rupees) which won’t pinch our pockets but which will become quite a big amount at the end of the year (approx Rs.11000 @ Rs.30 everyday). We can use this for helping 4-5 children with their books plus school bags!!!

>We can pledge our eyes so that two persons can see the world after our death... what a way to remain alive even after death!!

>We can pledge to donate blood at least once in an year. This will keep the blood banks full.
>We can promote activities which will spread the message of peace & unity.

But yes, at any cost we must NOT feel that everything is fine and things have become normal. They won't become normal unless we are able to spread the message of Nation building across all the layers of society. It'll take time... a lot of time.

Till then I urge you to keep the wounds wet... Keep them open so that they'll continue to bother you.

Jai Hind!!!

Internet friends

Ravi got up at 2 am in the night and switched on his PC in the adjoining room.
He had to go to his office in the morning and this job on PC was not urgent. Yet he got up silently, making sure that no one is disturbed or was it because he didn't want them to disturb him... well, only Ravi can answer this. Was he not holding any important position in the office that he can continue to sit late at night on PC and yet his next day was going to be perfectly OK? Was his health, mental condition, ability to sustain stresses due to his project (which was not in the best of shape) was not suffering due to his missed sleep? Was he not compromising his career for some unfruitful activity at 2 am?
Perhaps he was compromising... it wasnt urgent at all... he was just going to say HI to some of his friends staying in some remote corner of the world or some neighbour whom he never met face to face who got up just like him to share his thoughts, his very personal feelings... with other strangers...
Wait a minute, did I say strangers? No, they are not. They are his "true friends"... perhaps closer than those whom he meets in the club every Saturday or his office colleagues or whom he meets daily in his 1st class compartment of 6:54 train to Churchgate or his school mates whom he meets once in 3 months at 'Barista' near Churchgate. Just a clarification, "true friends" title was given by him and not me.

And what exactly does he "talks" with his "true friends"?
"Oh c'mon there are endless of spanning from Life to Death, from the economic slowdown to the recent terrorist attacks in Mumbai, to changing shades of a butterfly in various stages of its life cycle, to art & culture... you name it. We also discuss about Sher-Shayari, poetry, art, drama, culture... And Prashant, I am telling you, this world is really a very small place. We may look different, may have different cultures, age, sex or orientation but we ALL are SAME. Even Prophets and Saints say that the world is one and there is just one religion 'Humanity'... I didn't read thick religious books, never attended any religious meetings or so called Satsang (laughs) and yet got the basic crux of all religions... 'Human beings are here to share their love and to make this world a better place'. I learnt all this by 'talking' with my friends. Internet is the best invention after wheel. It has changed the world"

I was wondering what change is he talking about. We still have the same people who have to go out everyday for salary (including Ravi), the same rush in Mumbai Local Trains, same aroma of coffee & vada-pao in canteens, same taste of Pepsi & Coke, same smell of socks when we return home, same TV serials, cricket matches, home-work of children, same CNN or BBC news, terrorist attacks, fluctuating stockmarkets, diseases, same taste of Chapati-Bhaaji or Curd-rice, same perfumes used by men & women who can afford,... the list is endless...
Yes, the flow of information has increased and also the speed. We are better "connected" with our people... with whom we can chat (earlier we had time to talk), we can today ask them about the health of their mother thru' IM (with whom we used to talk over the phone)...
Internet has surely helped a lot but only to those who are able to use it or utilise it. Those who are "technologically backwards" (that was Ravi's term) are finding themselves alone... like my friends mother about whom I just told.

Well, let's see what "technologically superior breed" is doing? Getting up at 2 am to talk with friends whom they've never met. Reading and writing blogs (that's what you & I are doing right now). I am not saying it's not correct to do so. I am not saying people like Ravi or me or you are doing some unfruitful activity. I just wish to say, can we not behave in the same fashion with our family members as we behave with "netties". Ravi says, "who doesn't like to get appreciated Yaar? And you don't lose anything by saying 'Wow'... 'well done'... 'trust me dear'... if you feel that the other person is going to feel nice about it. We don't just appreciate, we also help them in need. Listen to their stories. Give solutions. If we cant give solutions then we just make them feel good by saying 'I'll pray for you'. We all do this buddy. All the netties do it... except a few rascals who are there for making fun... oh we find these fellows everyday in real life too."
I interrupt, "Ravi, did you say, real life?" Ravi is silent. He knows that whatever he is doing is perhaps just a small dream... away from reality... a virtual life (he didn't say "virtual life"... I am saying that).

Are we using these "Internet friends" as a virtual support system to lean on?
Can we not appreciate our family members and friends whom we meet everyday? Will they not be happy? Will they not come a step closer to our hearts? Why don't we treat them as we treat our "internet friends"?

Another question... Are we living a dual life? All of us. Without realising that many a times our two halves are not in sync with each other?

Well guys, this was the very first blog that I ever wrote. Some of you may agree with me and appreciate me or should I say, your 'virtual you' will support my 'virtual me'... some may disagree coz your experience was different than that of Ravi and you have data to support your disagreement (and I'll appreciate that)... some of you will be just "rascals" in Ravi's terminology and leave a few dirty comments (yet you are welcome)... some others will just ignore the comments column and start with more important jobs...

Thanks for being with me so far. I've told my friend that I'll try to write one blog daily and whether you guys like the blog or not, whether I get that 'virtual leaning wall' or not, I'll continue to write so long as I have a good enough reason to write.

Have a blessed day!!